I don´t know much say. I have depressions myself. I wish you all the best.
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Community I am depress
- Thread starter Ortheore
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The problem with this is that "acquire loving girlfriend" is something a lot of people don't really know how to do or may not have the opportunity to do. It's great if you can, sure - I'd recommend it myself - but when you're in a rural area and have maybe two conversations with similarly-aged females a year if that, it can be a bit difficult.
Well, yes and no. Depression is usually temporary. I've had four bouts so far; the first three cleared up in a few months, but the fourth has been going on for five years with no end in sight. My therapist basically gave up, and I seem to have developed tolerance to the medication. I've been admitted once a few years ago following a suicide attempt, and am looking at another (voluntary) admission just because nobody has a clue how to fix my psychomotor retardation.
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Speaking for myself, I went through depression for a couple months earlier this year and the way I got out was accepting that nothing was ever going to change if I didn't even try. I felt like I didn't have the strength to try, of course, but I told myself that I had to anyway. And so I just pretended I was fine for a while, I told myself that I had to fake being well even if I was not well at all. I convinced myself that I just had to ignore all of my struggles and try my best to act normal.
And while acting normal solved absolutely none of the issues at the root of my depression, it eventually evolved into legitimately feeling normal. And feeling normal allows me to actually tackle the issues instead of crying over them. The issues are still there, solving them is far from a quick process, but I'm now in the correct mindset for it and I have the patience to wait and take the falls when they happen without beating myself up over it.
Depression is mostly just a neverending loop of negative thoughts, at least in my experience. Force yourself out of the loop for long enough, and you won't fall back in too easily. I went from serious self-harming impulses (even though I never acted on them) every night to actually feeling good for trying, even if the results aren't here yet. If you can get out of the circle of negativity you're in, you will actually be able to work towards things, and working towards things is rewarding, so you'll get in an upwards spiral instead. And once you're there, you will happily endure all of the struggles with work or studies or whatever else because you know you must do it and you'll be proud of yourself for being able to do it.
Having supportive friends / a girlfriend does help a lot, and they're not too easy to come across I suppose, but for what it's worth, I got 99% of the help and support from people on the other side of the Atlantic. If you reach out for help you're bound to find it somewhere (or maybe I just got lucky? I doubt it though).
Best of luck in life, to everyone who's reading this.
And while acting normal solved absolutely none of the issues at the root of my depression, it eventually evolved into legitimately feeling normal. And feeling normal allows me to actually tackle the issues instead of crying over them. The issues are still there, solving them is far from a quick process, but I'm now in the correct mindset for it and I have the patience to wait and take the falls when they happen without beating myself up over it.
Depression is mostly just a neverending loop of negative thoughts, at least in my experience. Force yourself out of the loop for long enough, and you won't fall back in too easily. I went from serious self-harming impulses (even though I never acted on them) every night to actually feeling good for trying, even if the results aren't here yet. If you can get out of the circle of negativity you're in, you will actually be able to work towards things, and working towards things is rewarding, so you'll get in an upwards spiral instead. And once you're there, you will happily endure all of the struggles with work or studies or whatever else because you know you must do it and you'll be proud of yourself for being able to do it.
Having supportive friends / a girlfriend does help a lot, and they're not too easy to come across I suppose, but for what it's worth, I got 99% of the help and support from people on the other side of the Atlantic. If you reach out for help you're bound to find it somewhere (or maybe I just got lucky? I doubt it though).
Best of luck in life, to everyone who's reading this.
I just want to say that Chester was one of the many guys I liked listening to who got me through shit so his death has been fucking hard as shit on me personally. It fucking sucks.
bad advice. and somewhat selfish, if i may add.
you shouldn't be using another person as a crutch/band-aid to a problem that requires such thorough introspection on YOUR end.
you make it sound like a nice bag of chips (EASY) for your girlfriend to just get up and handle your full-on depression each and everytime it arises like it's nothing. like it's not a huge burden to her in any way. come on bro.
anyway, the key to beating depression in my personal opinion lies in your ability to PUSH YOURSELF to indulge in things that will directly counteract its effect: things that bring you happiness.
Go out, explore, find hobbies, find what it is about the world that gets you going, and dedicate your time and energy to plan accordingly and make these thing(s) forever abundant/accessible in your day-to-day life
TuffHunter
Member
Depression sucks.... hit me hard at the end of highschool and I nearly threw everything away. Took me a good 4 years to wrap my head around it and then another 4 to mature enough to make something of my life. Its not easy. Sometimes you just need to find something or someone to focus on.
Good luck man.
Good luck man.
Hey guys I just felt like updating you all because my mental health is a bit chaotic atm, and that's reflected in my passion for pokemon. There are times where I'm super fucking passionate about it, planning all kinds of things to help contribute to the overall community, others where I just want nothing to do with competitive pokemon, as it feels like it's become all work and no play. Unfortunately, things are tending more towards the latter, to the point where I'm strongly considering taking a hiatus from pokemon. This is compounded by the fact that my gaming habits have evolved to a point where my involvement with pokemon is genuinely all work and no play- atm I'm playing games mostly to relax, and pokemon just doesn't do it for me- it's either too mentally demanding for that, or I'm getting bored because I'm waiting on my opponent. I'm planning on setting aside a bit more time for just screwing about on the ladder, but tbh laddering as a concept (not specifically pokemon) is about as appealing as eating a live jellyfish so we'll see how that goes
In my opinion, if you don't feel like playing, then just don't play. There is no reason to get stressed over an activity whose purpose is supposed to be the opposite of stress. Also, I'm not sure that your current feelings about the game are necessarily related to depression. I know for a fact that many people in the pokemon community share the same feelings with you atm, one of them being me. You may ask me, why do you believe that ? I think the answer is simple: the modern lifestyle is quite stressful, which means that hobbies are needed to kinda relieve people from their burdens. Now, let's look at what competitive pokemon require from us. Playing at a high level requires dedication to practice, preparing and scheduling (worst part :S) for the tournament games. This doesn't seem like something that would help anyone relax, I'd say quite the opposite if anything and I didn't even consider contributing to the community etc. A stressful lifestyle coupled with stressful "hobbies" will inevitably lead to burnout sooner or later, I think it makes perfect sense. We may have high ambitions but, after all, we're just humans and we need time to unwind. In my eyes, feeling guilty that we're not always in the mood for an activity is almost equal to feeling guilty for being human. Despite the efforts of modern society to make us believe the opposite, we're simply never gonna become well-oiled machines. That's why we invented actual machines anyway 
I'm no expert in mental health and some of the people above already said what I'd have to say, so I'll just wish you good luck with your life
I'm no expert in mental health and some of the people above already said what I'd have to say, so I'll just wish you good luck with your life
I've had enough. Eight and a half years of this shit and it's only getting worse. There's no reason for hope on the horizon, no light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm going to swing by the emergency room at my local hospital to see if they've got any sort of drug that can give immediate relief for this. If that's no good, I'll bail, take all of my meds at once and hopefully overdose.
It's been fun
I'm going to swing by the emergency room at my local hospital to see if they've got any sort of drug that can give immediate relief for this. If that's no good, I'll bail, take all of my meds at once and hopefully overdose.
It's been fun
Sooo I'm fine atm, but I'll be taking a break from the community for a while, and only really play if I feel like it
Hey guys, just an update on my involvement with the site.
I'm actually really loving not being active. At this point my only interest in playing is so that I can still contribute a meaningful opinion on things, as well as potentially supporting a tiering project if I reboot that. Although I don't play much anymore, I still love talking about pokemon and just generally exploring things. As such, I'm considering returning to the site, but in a limited capacity (basically only tiering projects) and only if I can implement measures to avoid potentially burning out. The catch is that these measures would require a lot of work, as it consists of basically automating as much as possible when it comes to tournaments, especially validating activity. It's also not my current priority, as I'm looking for a permanent job atm, and I also have a lot of side projects that I would like to develop into a business some day that kinda competing for my focus. Also I don't plan on returning to Discord, unless I integrate with my scripts, also there's some other unrelated stuff.
This automation thing would basically generate group conversations between myself and the competitors (as well as on Discord ideally), with the idea being that these are used to schedule matches and serve as an easy means for me to make activity calls. I would also automate messages making it clear that no extensions will be accepted, and that uncertain activity calls will be flipped or nulled, and that it's the players responsibility to ensure I make the correct calls. I'd also want a check-in feature as well. I guess there's other stuff that could be added, but that's the gist of it. I don't know how that'd go, but I think it'd make things a bit smoother? I'm also not 100% sure how best to go about, whether gaining API access and making a simple script would suffice or whether it would need to be a Xenforo add-on.
Also as I alluded to, I think being stricter on deadlines (also no extensions) and shifting responsibility for activity calls onto players is crucial, as otherwise making activity calls becomes extremely stressful and makes hosting highly unpleasant, since it's natural to not want to upset people and also you tend to get blamed if a call gets disputed. It must be made clear that if you do not visibly schedule or you do not make a case for activity, you did not provide adequate information for decision-making. Disputes with evidence are a tricky case though. Making a program to automate activity would be ideal lol. As for strict deadlines and no extensions, they not only make the tour run poorly, they make decisions drag out longer, meaning they're a persistent stress.
Anyway, regarding the tiering project, I'd like to shift focus away from large amounts of lower tiers (ie. what we have now with RBY) and focus on only one tier (2U for RBY, 1U for every other gen). Lots of lower tiers just isn't sustainable, and I think that we should aim to make tiers as enduring as possible, while acknowledging that truly static tiers is an unattainable goal and that nothing should be exempt from being reviewed. Also I'm increasingly of the opinion that 1U=ubers is the way to go, based on my opinion shifting to be very averse to bans. I think we should implement fairly strict time restrictions on banning things and also impose a high threshold for a ban if a suspect does occur
I'm actually really loving not being active. At this point my only interest in playing is so that I can still contribute a meaningful opinion on things, as well as potentially supporting a tiering project if I reboot that. Although I don't play much anymore, I still love talking about pokemon and just generally exploring things. As such, I'm considering returning to the site, but in a limited capacity (basically only tiering projects) and only if I can implement measures to avoid potentially burning out. The catch is that these measures would require a lot of work, as it consists of basically automating as much as possible when it comes to tournaments, especially validating activity. It's also not my current priority, as I'm looking for a permanent job atm, and I also have a lot of side projects that I would like to develop into a business some day that kinda competing for my focus. Also I don't plan on returning to Discord, unless I integrate with my scripts, also there's some other unrelated stuff.
This automation thing would basically generate group conversations between myself and the competitors (as well as on Discord ideally), with the idea being that these are used to schedule matches and serve as an easy means for me to make activity calls. I would also automate messages making it clear that no extensions will be accepted, and that uncertain activity calls will be flipped or nulled, and that it's the players responsibility to ensure I make the correct calls. I'd also want a check-in feature as well. I guess there's other stuff that could be added, but that's the gist of it. I don't know how that'd go, but I think it'd make things a bit smoother? I'm also not 100% sure how best to go about, whether gaining API access and making a simple script would suffice or whether it would need to be a Xenforo add-on.
Also as I alluded to, I think being stricter on deadlines (also no extensions) and shifting responsibility for activity calls onto players is crucial, as otherwise making activity calls becomes extremely stressful and makes hosting highly unpleasant, since it's natural to not want to upset people and also you tend to get blamed if a call gets disputed. It must be made clear that if you do not visibly schedule or you do not make a case for activity, you did not provide adequate information for decision-making. Disputes with evidence are a tricky case though. Making a program to automate activity would be ideal lol. As for strict deadlines and no extensions, they not only make the tour run poorly, they make decisions drag out longer, meaning they're a persistent stress.
Anyway, regarding the tiering project, I'd like to shift focus away from large amounts of lower tiers (ie. what we have now with RBY) and focus on only one tier (2U for RBY, 1U for every other gen). Lots of lower tiers just isn't sustainable, and I think that we should aim to make tiers as enduring as possible, while acknowledging that truly static tiers is an unattainable goal and that nothing should be exempt from being reviewed. Also I'm increasingly of the opinion that 1U=ubers is the way to go, based on my opinion shifting to be very averse to bans. I think we should implement fairly strict time restrictions on banning things and also impose a high threshold for a ban if a suspect does occur